Too Bad or Too Good: Challenging Stereotypes about Black and Asian American Children
"There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children." - Nelson Mandela
In the ongoing conversation about racism and systemic inequities, I often focus on adults and their experiences in the workplace. However, racism, discrimination, or bigotry often starts during childhood. What we see in the workplace is also seen at the school house. Bias and stereotypes impact children in ways that are both overt and subtle.
Among the most insidious forms of racism children face are microaggressions or explicit aggressions, which profoundly affect their self-esteem, emotional well-being, and opportunities in life. If you are a parent, work with children, have children in your life, or just want to be an informed ally- read on. There are many perspectives from childhood that I could cover, but today I am going to focus on microaggressions directed towards children of Black or Asian descent. I am choosing these two groups to help diminish a manufactured trope that Black and Asian communities have enmity with one another and don’t have much in common.
Although the discrimination looks different, both groups are no stranger to unfairness. A microaggression is an offensive comment or conduct that is directed at someone because of their membership in a marginalized group. Microaggressions are a form of discrimination because someone is being subjected to prejudical treatment because of what they look like or who they are. Microaggressions directed at Asian children often imply exclusion in the form of the “perpetual foreigner” trope. Another trope is the “model minority” myth that often helps set the stage for pay disparities as an adult. Microaggressions extend beyond dismissive remarks—they manifest in stereotypes that strip Black children of their innocence, overestimate their maturity, and undervalue their potential.
Adultification Bias Against Black Children: The Loss of Innocence
One of the most well-documented manifestations of bias against Black children—particularly Black girls—is adultification bias, which refers to the perception that Black girls are less innocent, less in need of protection, and more adult-like than their White peers.
A study conducted by the Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality (2019) found that adults see Black girls as less innocent and more knowledgeable about adult topics, such as sex, starting as young as age 5. This bias leads to harsher treatment, less empathy, and fewer age-appropriate protections for girls.
For example, adultification bias is evident in how the legal system treats Black girls who are victims of abuse. High-profile cases, such as that of Robert Kelly, illustrate how Black girls are less likely to be seen as victims and more likely to be blamed for their own victimization, labeled as “fast” or complicit rather than being seen as the children they are.
The broader societal impact of this bias also extends to how missing Black girls are treated. Studies reveal that missing Black children tend to receive significantly less media coverage compared to White children (Muhammad, 2021). Law enforcement and the public often assume Black children are “runaways” rather than endangered, slowing efforts to find them. According to the National Crime Information Center, in 2022, of the 271,493 girls and women reported missing, 97,924—or over 36 percent—were Black, despite Black women and girls comprising only 14 percent of the U.S. female population. This is a form of racism and unfortunately this negative impact follows Black girls into womanhood. Missing Black women continue to receive less attention from the media and fewer law enforcement resources are spent on their missing person cases. My sister has been missing since February 3, 2021. One of the things we were told repeatedly by law enforcement is that Cynthia “walked off to start a new life.” It’s the adult version of being called a “runaway.” Unfortunately, my experience is not unique as thousands of Black families face the same reality regarding missing Black women.
Criminalization of Black Boys: Seen as Older, “Dangerous,” or “Bad”
For Black boys, adultification bias intersects with ingrained stereotypes about aggression and criminality. A study by Phillip Atiba Goff and colleagues at the American Psychological Association (2014) revealed that Black boys are often perceived as older than they are—by as much as four years—and more likely to be viewed as guilty of crimes.
This bias has tragic real-world implications. Consider Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old boy who was shot and killed by police while playing in a park with a toy gun. Officers described Tamir as “menacing” and claimed they thought he was an adult. Society often denies Black boys the innocence and playfulness that childhood should provide.
In schools, these biases manifest as disproportionate discipline. Black boys are three times more likely than their White peers to be suspended or expelled, often for subjective infractions like “defiance” or “disrespect,” according to the U.S. Department of Education’s Civil Rights Data Collection (2021). They’re disproportionately placed into special education programs—even in cases where no developmental disabilities exist—and labeled with “behavioral disorders.” These labels create barriers to their academic success and affect long-term outcomes.
The Harm of the Model Minority Myth
One of the most pervasive microaggressions Asian children face is tied to the "model minority" myth — the assumption that all Asians are naturally gifted, academically superior, and inherently successful. Comments like, "Of course you’re good at math, you’re Asian!" or "Asian kids don’t need extra help; they’re already smart," may appear to be compliments, but Asian American Studies scholars have stated these statements are deeply harmful for several reasons.
First, the model minority myth dismisses the individuality of Asian children and treats them as if they are part of a monolithic group. It fails to acknowledge that every child is unique, with their own strengths, weaknesses, and interests. Not all students of Asian descent excel in academics. Erasing this individuality creates immense pressure on Asian children to live up to unrealistic stereotypes, even if their own talents lie elsewhere.
Second, this myth can serve as a barrier to genuine academic and emotional support. When teachers assume that Asian students do not need help—based purely on harmful stereotypes—it prevents struggling students from receiving the resources and guidance they need to thrive. Students who need assistance may feel reluctant to ask for help, fearing judgment or even ridicule for not living up to expectations. This creates a silent crisis that negatively impacts mental health, self-esteem, and learning opportunities, while further deepening inequities in education.
Another harmful aspect of the “model minority” myth is that it simultaneously denies racism against Asian people and paints them as a so-called "ideal" for other marginalized groups to emulate. This perpetuates the false idea that Asians have "overcome" racial discrimination and systemic barriers, implying that racism doesn't impact them as harshly as other groups. This narrative is entirely false and harms Asian communities by erasing their experiences of prejudice, exclusion, and violence.
This rhetoric further serves to divide marginalized communities by presenting people of Asian descent as the "top of the bottom," held up as a convenient model to blame or pit other groups against them. It promotes the harmful notion that achieving success in the face of inequality is possible only by "working harder," ignoring how systemic inequality disproportionately harms all marginalized groups, albeit in varying ways. This damaging trope gained increased traction in a 1966 U.S. News & World Report story. The story contrasted Chinese Americans as successful immigrants who didn't complain and Black Americans as unsuccessful because they protested discrimination rather than raise themselves up by their own bootstraps. Dr. King famously said, “That it’s a cruel jest to tell a bootless man to raise himself up by his own bootstraps.” Unfortunately, various news outlets picked up this “model minority” myth story.
The trope of planting enmity between the two groups is actually an attack on the true history of numerous instances of these communities working well together. As far back as 1869, Black and Asian Americans were engaged in mutual solidarity of their individual civil rights agendas. They protested, marched, and advocated for and with each other. There was a concerted effort to better the lives of their individual communities. If you are curious about some these moments of solidarity consider: Frederick Douglass speaking out about anti-Asian sentiment in 1869; Japanese American Yuri Kochiyama who was a human right activist and worked with Malcom X; Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who actively opposed the Vietnam War and strove for equality for all; Filipina American Cecilia Suyat worked for the NAACP and helped with the legal briefs for the Brown v. Board of Education case, Gus and Emma Thompson and the Dong Family. And there are so many more examples.
How To Support Children
Invest in Training: Teachers and administrators need training to recognize and combat biases. They must learn to identify areas where disproportionate discipline or low expectations harm marginalized children—and how practices such as restorative justice and implicit bias training can help reverse these patterns. I offer consulting and training. Please contact me if you would like support with training your staff about addressing bias and subtle forms of discrimination. We can create environments where all children feel seen, safe, and supported.
Challenge Media Representation: Advocate for humanizing and urgent coverage for all children - especially missing or survivors of trauma. Question stereotypes perpetuated by the media. Equitable narratives spotlight the inherent dignity of all children. In the age of social media it is easier than ever to leave feedback for media stations, request fair coverage, or request coverage of communities we don’t normally see.
Policy Change: Advocate for reform in how discipline is administered in your local school district. You can start attending PTA or school board meetings. One question to ask during these meetings is how does law enforcement interact with minors from marginalized groups? What is the data and can we break is down by race and gender? Policies must aim to restore the innocence and humanity of all children by ensuring equal treatment across systems. If there are areas of inequality reach out to experts to discuss solutions. Please contact me if your organization needs assistance developing solutions.
Reflect on Personal Bias: As parents, caregivers, and community members we must all reflect on our own assumptions. Unfortunately, no one is beyond the influence of bias. Important questions to ask ourselves: How do we talk about other children in our child’s class? Do we unconsciously hold biases about what Black or Asian children are capable of? Have we in the past, been dismissive or disciplined children differently based on racialized expectations? Do we think some children have inherent “goodness” while others do not? What is this based upon? Harvard has a free bias test available online. This is a great place to start. Once we know our ares of bias, it’s time to start educating ourselves. I shared a few links below to get us started.
Practice Validation: Validating children’s feelings and experiences can help them feel seen, heard, and important. If a child trusts us enough to share an incident that is consistent with a microaggression, we want to avoid minimizing their experience or brushing it aside. Adopting a mindset of empathy rather than authority can foster greater trust and mutual respect. It’s best to acknowledge that what happened to them was wrong, but this isn’t the end of the story because we can help them address this appropriately. One way to address offensive questions is to coach children to redirect by answering a question with a question. For example, if someone asks a child an offensive question, it’s okay to reply with, “Why do you ask?” “Why do you need to know this?” or “Is there a purpose for you asking me such a personal question?”
To make progress, we need to dispel the microaggressions I shared above and actively resist any narrative that encourages division among communities. No child should feel pressured to live up to a stereotype that not only erases their humanity but also contributes to a culture of inequality and divisiveness. It is only through recognizing and honoring the varied realities faced by children from all backgrounds—that we can work together to dismantle oppressive systems.
Additional Reading
Asian American Histories of the United States